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Casual dating for women is often frowned upon in Pakistan's male-dominated society. However, dating apps such as Tinder are challenging norms and allowing women to take more control over their sexuality.
Faiqa is a 32-year-old entrepreneur in Islamabad, and, like many young single women around the world, she uses dating apps to connect with men.
Although casual dating for women is still frowned upon in socially conservative and heavily patriarchal Pakistan, attitudes are rapidly changing in the country's cities.
Faiqa has been using the dating app Tinder for two years, and she said although the experience has been 'liberating,' many Pakistani men are not used to the idea of women taking control of their sexuality and dating lives. Pakistani women are often expected to preserve a family's 'honor.'
'I've met some men on Tinder who describe themselves as 'open minded feminists,' yet still ask me: 'Why is a decent and educated girl like you on a dating app?' Faiqa told DW.
India leads South Asia's online dating market, and Pakistan is slowly catching on. A study by the Indonesian Journal of Communication Studies found that most of Pakistan's Tinder users come from major cities including Islamabad, Lahore and Karachi and are usually between 18 and 40 years old.
Other dating apps are also growing in popularity. MuzMatch caters exclusively to Muslims looking for a date. Bumble, despite being relatively new to the online dating market, is a favorite among many Pakistani feminists, as women initiate the first conversation.
'There are fewer men on Bumble, therefore it somehow feels safer to use. Tinder is well-known and someone you know could see you, making it uncomfortable,' said Nimra, a student from Lahore.
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However, many young women in Pakistan use apps because it makes dating more private.
'With a dating app, a woman can choose if she wants a discreet one night stand, a fling, a long-term relationship etc. It is hard for women to do this openly in our culture, which is why dating apps give them an opportunity they won't find elsewhere,' said Nabiha Meher Shaikh, a feminist activist from Lahore.
Exploring sexuality in a conservative society
Sophia, a26-year old researcher from Lahore, told DW she uses Tinder to explore her 'sexuality without constraints.'
'I don't care if people judge me. Society will always judge you, so why bother trying to please them?' she said.
However, not all female Tinder users are as open as Sophia. Most Tinder profiles of Pakistani women do not disclose their full identity, with photographs showing only cropped faces, close-up shots of hands or feet, faces covered with hair or only painted fingernails.
'If we put up our real names or photographs, most men tend to stalk us. If we don't respond, they find us on social media and send weird messages,' said 25-year-old Alishba from Lahore.
She also pointed out dating double standards, explaining that married men on Tinder often use their 'broken' marriage as an excuse to date other women.
Read more: Violence against women on the rise in Pakistan
Fariha, a 28-year old blogger, used Tinder for one year. 'I always chose to meet men in public places until I felt safe. But one guy kept inviting me to his place. Men often assume that women will engage sexually if they keep asking,' she told DW.
No more 'shaming and labeling'
The introduction of dating apps in Pakistan has also challenged taboos sparked debates over women's sexuality, consent and safe sex.
For some, the rising popularity of dating apps reveals the extent of the state's control over women's bodies and people's personal choices.
Secretary General Ameer ul Azeem of the Islamic party Jamaat-e-Islami told DW that 'the girls and boys using these apps meet up secretly because they also have a realization that it's wrong.'
Read more: Pakistan honor killings haunting young women
'In the West, strict laws protect women from harassment. Women can't be protected during such secretive meetings in Pakistan if there is harassment, because these laws are absent.'
Zarish, a Lahore-based artist, told DW women should 'no longer be controlled by shaming and labeling.' She said Pakistan has much 'bigger issues' that are in need of urgent attention and therefore should stop obsessing over 'what regular people do in their private lives.'
'My individual choices and desires represent me as a person, not my family or society's honour,' Zarish said.
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Stunning Pakistani women for marriage are blessed with natural beauty, kind character, and incredible loyalty to the people they love. Even though they live in a male-dominated society, dating sites and apps are challenging norms and allowing women to take more control over their love life.
Why Pakistani girls become mail order brides?
Based on the research article, we can single out some central issues in Pakistani society that make stunning Pakistani brides become mail order brides.
Limitation of women’s rights — Girls in Pakistan are still facing a lack of rights as they are not considered individuals. Traditionally women are daughters, sisters, wives, or mothers. They are not seen as equal, making them want to seek a better life and proper treatment abroad.
Restrictions in clothes — According to Muslim tradition, Pakistani girls for marriage have to cover themselves from head to toe. Some women accept that and obey it as to religious traditions. However, others consider it to be outdated and very restrictive.
No grooming — Those ladies have incredible natural beauty, which is very restricted by societal norms. Pakistani mail order wife is not allowed to groom under the fear that men might get attracted. If she does so, it will be considered immoral.
Social pressure to marry at a young age — Early marriages are the norm in Pakistan. Girls are getting married at a very young age, and society pressures them to do so under the pretext that reproductive role is easier at a younger age.
Striving to get rid of many limitations and taking their love life into their own hands makes lovely women from Pakistan use online dating and matchmaking services.
What are Pakistani brides like?
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There is no universal traits formula that can cover the national character and all peculiarities of Pakistani ladies. But we gathered the most common ones to help you get the general idea of what a Pakistani mail order bride is like.
Natural beauty
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Even though Pakistani wife is restricted to make alterations to their appearance, that is not a big problem for her. Each girl from this country is blessed with perfect beauty genes, making her flawless.
Wall-flowers
The truth is that Pakistani wives tend to be dependent on the male members of their family and further on their partners more than women in western societies. That is the direct influence of predominantly only taking care of the household and kids.
Caring
Those beauties have so much love in their heart, and they always share it with their partner and family. Pakistani brides know how to surround the people they care about with attention and nourishment.
5 secrets of Pakistani mail order wife dating
Dating in Pakistan is different from the western one, as Pakistani and Western societies are almost polar opposite. But as you know, opposites attract, which is why your international dating could work if you want it to. Here are some secrets to building a happy relationship:
Be honest — Honesty is something that goes both ways, and it should be in the core of every relationship. And especially dating a Pakistani brides, you need to be upfront, sincere in your intentions and genuine in your feelings to make it work. Besides, the biggest thing that those ladies can’t stand is double standards of dating, explaining that married men on dating apps often use their ‘broken’ marriage as an excuse to date other women.
Take a slower pace — As traditional dating is kind of non-existent in conservative Pakistani society, you need to understand that all of that is very new to your girl. That is why it is better to take a slow pace. However, don’t be too slow. Otherwise, your Pakistani beauty will think that you are just not interested.
Respect her culture — The culture of Pakistan is undoubtedly unique, and it is something that you need to explore if you see yourself connecting your life with a Pakistani woman. Don’t be shy to ask your girl about traditions and customs, she will only appreciate your genuine curiosity. Besides, when you create a family together, you’ll need to work on a perfect mix of cultures for your kids to find a combination for both of you.
Don’t try to change her — Beautiful Pakistani women are not like western girls, nor they want to be like them. That is why it is very important to respect that and not try to make them something they are not. Better discuss issues that you have or things you don’t understand before they grow into something they shouldn’t.
Make sure that she knows about your serious intentions — Casual relationships or one night stands are not a thing for Pakistani mail order brides. They take relationships very seriously and won’t be with someone who doesn’t share such beliefs. That’s why make sure to talk about how you see your future together and be honest about it.
Bottom line
With their humbleness and smoking-hot appearance, gorgeous Pakistani wife is the dream of many men. Thankfully, it can become a reality for you, as there are so many of them open to communication online. All you need to do is find a reliable dating site that offers to meet stunning women from Pakistan and start the talk flowing with the one you like.